I Wanna Hold Your Hand

In Africa, there’s a lot of holding hands that goes on. It happens between siblings, friends, and parents and kids. But it even happens between grown-up males!

This really freaked me out. I mean, it’s fine if other men want to do it, but it was really weird when another man would hold my hand. It felt like a Seinfeld episode- the one with the close talker. I felt like Jerry, when the “close talker” would come and stand right in his face, and he would stumble backwards, trying to escape.

I knew that African men hold hands sometimes, and that this was natural and meant only that you are good friends. But this didn’t make it less weird.

It first happened in Zambia, with my friend Friday. I had said something funny, and Friday wanted to give me five- but after he did, he didn’t let go of my hand. I remember feeling awkward and looking for someway of getting my hand out of there! Eventually, a nose scratch was what saved me.

At the Shalom center, the kids would always hold my hand- whether they were young or old, male or female. One of the young adults who lives nearby and often helps out even held my hand sometimes.

At this point, I began to start feeling more comfortable with this phenomenon. Why should I discriminate between male and female, young and old in this way? All those kids were looking for a friend, someone to love. Should I pull my hand back from one only because he was 17?

It reminded me of my time in Argentina, where strangers greet each other with a kiss on the cheek- even men to other men. At first it seemed weird, but then I got used to it, and now I really like this way of greeting. It gave a new meaning for me when I read in the Bible in Paul’s letters about greeting people with a holy kiss.

Here in Africa, I’m not going to go looking for guys' hands to hold. But if it happens, it happens. It’s just one way to show your friendship.